I have to be honest, The Wizard of Oz is one of my all time favorite movies. Since I was a child I have always loved it. It has everything: a girl trying to figure out who she is while rebelling against the unfair persecution of her loyal and adorable dog, a flying house, a magical land where there are tiny quirky people living within their own tiny quirky community. There’s a beautiful good witch who travels by bubble in a pink sparkly gown made of so much tulle I wasn’t sure how she managed to glide across the floor from the weight of it, an evil witch who clearly had glorious taste in shoes (however, her taste in leg wear was questionable),
another evil witch who is trying to avenge her sister’s death and claim her rightful inheritance, and of course, let’s not forget the great and powerful wizard who lives in the glimmering and sparkly emerald city of Oz. It all calls to mind a colorful mystical dream world where flying monkeys and cowardly lions teach us there’s no place like home.
The problem I have always had was with the wizard. What kind of monster was this man? Was he a sociopath? I mean, listen, the wicked witches were just what they claimed to be. And what’s wrong with a sister wanting justice for her sibling’s death and claiming her birthright? She, at least, never hid who she really was. Everyone knew, “Watch out for this one; she is MEAN!” But the wizard? Really? He sent a pre-teen girl and her gullible friends to certain death with absolutely no regard for their safety and no intention of following through on any of his promises. And then after they actually survive their trial by fire and Toto pulls back the curtain to reveal the wizard as a fraud, we’re just supposed to forget and forgive?!? Why? Because he claims he’s just a bumbling old man who stumbled into presenting himself as a demigod? 
Am I the only one who finds this troublesome?
We tell our children that actions speak louder than words. And yet that’s a lesson that takes many adults way too long to truly learn. We stay in abusive marriages because he cries and says he’s sorry and he’ll never do it again and begs for us to stay. We forgive the friend who lies about hooking up with our boyfriend because she says she was drunk and didn’t know what she was doing even though we know she’s hooked up with other people’s boyfriends. So what does Dorothy do? She believes him! She takes him at his word even though he has clearly proven that his word means nothing. And then what happens? HE LEAVES WITHOUT HER! Now I ask you, do you really believe that was accidental? Because if you do, then you may want to re-evaluate your observational and emotional awareness. My mom used to say, “Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.”
Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t give people a second chance. We all make mistakes. The problem arises when we don’t learn from those mistakes, and that’s true for both sides of this coin. My husband used to tell our kids, “If you push me down and say you’re sorry, but then you push me down again, then you weren’t really sorry.” So, how do we teach or learn to be accountable? Ummmm, I’ll tell you how: by actually holding ourselves and others accountable for our/their actions. If I tell my son,”If you do that again you are going to have a timeout.” Then ten minutes later he does it again. I send him to timeout and he starts to cry and say how sorry he is, “I just forgot!” in the most pitiful voice. If I don’t follow through and make him go to timeout because he’s so sad and forlorn, what have I taught my son? I have taught him that if he “acts” like he’s sad he may be able to get away with whatever it was he wasn’t supposed to do in the first place. And we have then convinced ourselves that his words actually spoke louder than his actions. And so the cycle begins. I’m not trying to tell people how to parent or how relationships should be. But what I am trying to tell you is listen to people’s words AND observe their behavior. If the two are contradictory then perhaps Toto just pulled back the curtain. Please! Pay attention to the man behind the curtain. And once you’ve seen him don’t allow yourself to “unsee” him. He has shown you who he really is, believe him.
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Moonsister 