You’re probably wondering what or who is a moonsister. When I was coming up with a name for this blog I tried to think about what I wanted to focus on and the reasons I wanted to begin to write it. So let’s start with the reasons I decided to start writing at all. Honestly, they’re purely self-serving. Recently, my oldest daughter passed away quite unexpectedly, just eight days before her 28th birthday. Our whole family’s world has been turned upside down and inside out. In sorrow she has left behind a husband, two children, two step children, three siblings, her father, step father, as well as myself and grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and so many people whose lives she touched with her loving and joyful heart. This tragedy has brought a myriad of thoughts and emotions tearing through my mind and soul like Freddy Kreuger on holiday. I started writing as a means to calm my brain and sort out the tangle of feelings I have been trying to hack my way through. Through writing there is reflection. At nearly 50 years of age, when I thought I had “me” pretty much figured out, I have been sent back, spiritually, to start the whole process over. The process of figuring out my identity, my self awareness, my priorities, my whole belief system, my life. I have questioned it all. Some days are harder than others.
This has not been an easy year for me, one of many tough years if I’m going to be honest. I lost my mother last year just ten days before Christmas. And even though her death was not a surprise, she was 92 and had been suffering from dementia, it’s always devastating to lose your mother. She was the matriarch of our quite extended family and her passing marked the close of an era. Thankfully, I have my biological mother. I am adopted but I’ll save that for another day.
All of this has led me to at least one realization: I have been very fortunate to have been surrounded by strong women my whole life. And these women have been the ones to see me through every chapter of my life. Sometimes they were pushing me, sometimes dragging me, but most often carrying me, lifting me. So I decided that I wanted this blog to be primarily about and in dedication to the strong women in our lives. They have helped hold me up throughout my lifetime and I pray will continue for the rest of mine as I pledge to be there for them.
I’m sure you’re still wondering why moonsister? I feel like mankind in general but, more significantly women, have always had a connection to the moon and the phases of the moon. My mother, who was a nurse for 20 years, used to talk about the pull of the moon and its effect on human behavior, both physically and emotionally. Mom was an RN at Alexandria Hospital. She was trained in all fields of nursing, specializing as a surgical nurse, prior to choosing to work in the newborn nursery. She told stories about more babies being born and more activity in the ER during full moons. Obviously, we know that the moon affects the tides. And women have always counted on the moon to be their guide. It started as a calendar by marking the phases of the moon to keep track of time. Eventually the moon became the universal image of the eternal Goddess. The moon dictates cycles of the tides of the seas as well as the tides of women’s cycles. The triple Goddess, which refers to the three phases of a woman’s life: maiden, mother, and crone, is represented by the triple moon symbol of the waxing, full, and waning moon. We are all connected by the phases of the moon and the phases of our lives. And so that’s where moonsisters comes from. I want to remind myself, as well as other women, that we are all connected no matter what phase of life we’re in. And no phase is more important than any other, so we need to lift each other up and help each other through whatever difficulty we are facing. And, trust me, we are all struggling through something.
So bear with me as I share my life experiences, not just through this journey of grief and what waits on the other side, but the many voyages of my life. I know that I will never be the same person I was before, from now on there is only after. But my hope is that in looking back in retrospect and reminding myself of the places I’ve already been and the lessons already learned, it will help guide me to the new me. And maybe it will bring some comfort to other women who are wading through their own turmoil. You’re never alone under the light of the moon.
Your moonsister – Edy
Moonsister 
This is beautiful Edy, not surprisingly as you’ve always been beautiful inside and out and very very strong. It provoked a great deal of emotion just reading the intro as the Moon was a fascination of my Brodys and now my connection to him. I look forward to following and learning as usual from you and your journey. Kudos to you, I tried journaling but it became hard so I stopped, but writing through grief they say is a great healer.
Thank you for the invite into your healing journey!
Roxanne is smiling those darling dimples down on you beaming with usual pride in her strong Mother!
I love you to the Moon and Back….
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Thank you, Amy! I know you understand the pain of this loss. My heart breaks for both of us, and any mother who has to go through this. I am positive Brody feels your love and shines his back on you, your own moonbeam. Thank you for your support, always!
With love from your moonsister,
Edy
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Edy
Thank you for the invite. This is extremely hard to read at this point. You are so much stronger than I could ever be. You may very well be the strongest woman I know. It takes a special person to be able to continue on after the devastation that has been brought upon you. If I raise Brianna to be HALF as strong as you, then I will have done my job. Edy, I love you so very much and will always be here. I will be following the blog closely. (For grammatical errors of course)
Flipflop
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Thanks Flipflop. Brianna is already a very special young lady. It’s obvious you and Joanne are doing your jobs well!
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This is really beautiful and I’ve always thought what an incredible writer you are. Your ability to convey emotions and thoughts on paper is such a gift and really amazing.
Roxanne would be and IS so proud of you for doing this — I could see her being so excited to read each post as soon as it was posted. 💛 I love you.
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Thanks Bridg, I had mixed emotions about whether or not to do this. I mean, I had already started it and had written some things but couldn’t decide whether or not to take it public. But then I thought how ridiculous it may be to write a blog and not let people know. It was really just to get my thoughts and emotions out and in writing so I’d be better able to decipher them instead of them just bouncing around in my head like a superball! I love you my redheaded stepchild!
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Edy, this is beautiful and so brave to share with the world. You have a way with words and saying what you feel and sharing your emotions, both on paper and verbally. You are strong and you come by it naturally. But, it seems so unfair somehow that we have to suffer heartache and grief and to make us strong. I used to write everything down and keep a journal , but I started to feel beat down by the world and by the people I choose to love , it became negative writing. So I quit, I gave up writing. I did the thing I always told my kids not to do, “don’t be a quitter ! ” So I’m so proud of you , being stronger than I could be and writing for healing of your heart and soul. Roxanne loved you so much and was like a clone of you, so much like you, not just her looks, her whole being. I think about her everyday & wish I had more time with her. But I will talk with her everyday and pray to God she hears me & looks over all of us from her spot above the moon. I love you and am so proud of you. Your MoonMama Kathi
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Edy, this was very moving & beautiful and reflects who you are as a Mother and a woman. You are an extremely strong person and I believe you come by it naturally and you were raised by strong a woman. You are a gifted writer being able to convey your emotions and thoughts in writing, I love that about you. I feel it’s very brave of you to share this in a blog . I used to love to write poems and in my journal but then I started feeling beat down by the world and by the people I chose to share my thoughts & feelings and it became too hard to keep writing, I put up my wall. I know Roxanne loved you so much, she was your clone and she would love that you are sharing your grief and your love with others she would feel you are brave and her warrior. I love you and appreciate you and thank you for sharing . All my Love, MoonMama
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Edy – Thank you for sharing your journey. Your beautiful in depth writing draws me in. I am in awe and inspired by your bravery in tackling a mother’s worst nightmare. You are one of the strongest women I know. Hang in there my friend and may you feel and embrace the love and support by so many.
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